Last weekend, I had competed in my 5th professional fight, and although it was the smallest show I had fought on, it was an experience that shed light on the magnificent flow of inspiration. 

Saturday’s show was different than any other card I had fought on because they had a day show which highlighted youth pankration and kickboxing.  We had 4 fighters competing during the day, my nephew Jacob Macalolooy (16yrs), Ryan Noriega (9yrs), Marco Murillo (10yrs), and Joey Ainsworth (12yrs).  Although it was amazing to corner and see my students perform beautifully in the cage, it was more invigorating to witness their “fighting spirit” peak through their performances.  Jacob and Marco delivered dominating decisions leaving the crowd in amazement of their skills, while Ryan took “fight of the day” honors, and Joey finished his opponent with a swift body kick to the liver.  

The best part for me was watching what I could not teach them transcend beyond what I have taught them… fighting spirit.  Watching them go out there and lay it all on the line, regardless of how skilled their opponents were, infused my being with inspiration that would later flow into my performance at night.

The flow of inspiration had shifted in my direction.  But the inspiration was not for me to have, only to redirect.  In my experience’s, I have learned that it’s not about holding on to anything in life, whether material or that which is beyond form.  Intangible feelings such as inspiration and love are not meant for us to keep, but to share.  It is not meant to be hoarded, but given away so that the flow may continue.  We must not hold on, but let go in order to continue the flow.  Going out there and being able to seal the victory while earning “fight of the night” honors not only elevated the crowd to its feet, but continued the flow of inspiration back towards my students so that they can continue to grow, improve, and better themselves both in and out of the cage.  

As they have inspired me to perform to my best, I am allowed to continue the flow of inspiration back to them in a constant cycle of growth.  The relationship between teacher and student is not a one way street, but an open flow of communication, with no limitations.  My job is not only to educate them in the ways of the martial arts, but to inspire and empower so that they may find their own way and in turn continue the flow.

Life operates in cycles, from the changing of the seasons to the generational flow of life and death.  And if life is in a constant flow, then there is no beginning, nor is there an end, just the present moment in the flow of life. 

Keep flowing.

The list on my amazon wish list never seems to dwindle. In fact, it only seems to increase. Upon finishing a book, I’ve somehow added 2 or 3 more to my wish list along the way. Each book leads to new books, and new journeys ready to be explored.

I guess somewhere down the line, I just wanted MORE; to read more… to know more. I was so eager to finish a book and pick up another one so that I could expand my mind, that I had lost focus on the purpose of reading. I thought that if I just knew more, then everything would be better. If I knew more about the universe and all its mysteries, then I would be able to navigate through life with ease. Well, let me assure you, that is not necessarily the case. In the search for that missing secret; that bit of information that would change everything in my life, my mind began to squander. The knowledge I was seeking became a dense forest, which hid the path I had once traveled so freely upon. The mental noise only got louder, and I was held captive to my ego filled thoughts. Once again, I became lost.

That’s when I realized I had lost sight of the journey and became focused solely on the destination. The allure of enlightenment and spiritual freedom blinded me from the way itself. I became so focused on getting somewhere that I forgotten that there was no-where to be but here. There are no steps to take. The way does not have a final destination or conclusion. Only the way itself exists. It was NEVER about knowing more. All the answers I had been searching for were already sitting on my bookshelf in the comfort of my own room. I was so eager to learn, that I neglected the most important process in learning… applying. I was in a rush to learn, and so learning I did not. I guess I thought by reading more, I would naturally just absorb it. G.I. Joe was right when he said that “knowing is half the battle.” But what he failed to mention, was that “knowing is not enough, we must apply (Bruce Lee).”

I didn’t have to go out and get more books to find the missing secrets, I already knew them, I just wasn’t applying them. Because of that, I kept searching for more, thinking that the next book would finally have the answers I had been looking for. So I stopped looking outside, and started looking inside. I started going back to the books I already had… the ones that initially gave me that sense of satori, which is what I had craved in the first place. The material in those books had opened new doors in my mind, but was I still applying them? And if I was applying them, how proficient had I become at it? Was it something I did every now and then, or had it become synthesized into my everyday life?

In taking a step back, I had realized that this theme traversed into more than just my reading, but into my martial arts as well. I kept thinking I needed to learn more so that I could defeat any opposition or defend any attack… that if I had all the answers, I couldn’t be stumped by any martial enigmas. Again, I had been so engaged in the search for more that I had forgotten to sharpen the tools that I already possessed. It was never about attaining more skills, but taking what I had and mastering them. As Bruce Lee said “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” So instead of searching for more techniques to add to my arsenal, I have taken a step back and decided to focus on the ones that I do know until understanding morphs into proficiency, and proficiency evolves into mastery.

So in my reading as in my martial arts, the goal is now the same. Take what I know, and refine. Refine until mastery is achieved. The search for more is an endless search, which will always be there, but the rush is over, and the ego checked. It is time slow down and go back to the basics. It is time to re-learn what I have already learned and begin applying it until application moves from thought to second nature.

It is time to practice what I preach.

“Repetition is the master.” And it takes 10,000 reps until mastery. So back to the lab I go… both in my mind and on the mat.